In case you look at the photo above and think it doesn't look terrible, just check out how this stuff really looked:
I mean. What? Checkered linoleum in the dining room and entry? Is this the prequel to The Shining? Someone help me understand.
At this point we accepted that we were out of our league and called in our contractor. And got to painting.
So what did we learn?
1. Laminate is easy enough to remove, and worth doing even if you call in a contractor to deal with the den of horrors you find underneath. You'll save yourself some money and it's so satisfying.
2. Never assume best case scenario when you're dealing with housework. We hoped to find hardwood directly under the laminate, but we knew it was unlikely, and we budgeted for the worst case scenario.
3. Moving and housework is super stressful. The day that our floor guy didn't show was the day that almost broke me. Edward and I had been working our asses off to make the house move-in ready, and this asshole single-handedly wrecked all that.
4. The stress of moving and housework is temporary. Yeah, not being able to put furniture downstairs for the first week, and moving into a hotel two days after moving into a house was less than ideal, but our saga had a happy ending.